Thursday, December 22, 2011

Plumbing Doesn't Work Like It Use To

Oh wait...I have to pee..before I start this post...BRB

Awwee much better. Ok, where were we?

I know you are probably thinking that this post is going to be about having to pee all the time.  Well, you would be half right.  This post is about pee, and how it comes out of me at the most inconvenient times.

Im not talking about laughing so hard I pee my pants, or even not being able to hold long enough to get to a toilet.  Those we all experience at all ages in life, or the people around me were just a bunch of pissy pants.

I'm talking about sneezing and peeing! I'm talking about coughing and peeing! I'm talking about dancing a peeing. Not only can I not hold my bladder for more than 30 seconds, it doesn't even have to be full for it to project it's waste. I've sneezed & coughed in every place possible, the bus, work, the mall, everywhere you aren't suppose to pee. Now when I cough or sneeze not only do I cover my mouth, I have to cross my legs or hold my crotch, to make sure I don't explode. Oh the joys of womanhood!

When I was younger I used to be able to do a little dance to help me hold it, now, forget dancing, especially if I'm drinking. One wrong jump or turn and .... squirt! Many nights where I have left my pissy panties in the bathroom at the bar. Yeah, those where mine! I'm THAT girl.  Good thing, being 40ish, I do not go out dancing very much anymore.  I enjoy it in the comfort of my own home, where I can pee my pants in privacy!

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